Are you having problems with communication in your relationship? Is it difficult for you and your partner to discuss issues without blaming, yelling or name-calling?
Do you feel like you're living separate lives or contemplating divorce?
Has one (or both of you) been involved in an affair? Are there other trust issues within your marriage?
Are you still arguing over the same ongoing issue?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to speak to a marriage therapist.
Much research has been done in the last thirty years with regard to enhancing the success of relationships. As David
Schnarch said in his book,
Passionate Marriage, marriage can be sort of like an hourglass. In the first stage, (honeymoon stage), couples
fall in love and life together feels blissful. In the second stage (the "narrows"), the relationship enters a more
challenging phase, which is similar to a power struggle. This is the time in which couples often seek counseling.
Crucial to getting to the next stage, which is less oppositional and more satisfying, is for each individual to
be able to meet his/her needs rather than assuming that their partner will meet all of their needs. The relationship
can then operate more as a team, not as opposing parties.
I enjoy working with couples who want to improve their relationships. As your marriage therapist, it is my goal to:
- Create a safe environment so both of you can communicate more effectively, especially with the tough conversations
involving anger and conflict.
- Provide insights into each of your families to make sure that old scripts are not subconsciously being played out
in your adult relationships.
- Improve your friendship so you can support each other's hope and dreams.
- Encourage you to design a vision of the relationship that both of you want and coach you in achieving that vision.